Judgment towards moms is nothing new. When my mother was a new mom, she would be subject to hearing the opinions of old ladies in the checkout lines at the supermarket about what she was doing right or wrong with her baby. In today’s era of social media, it can feel like that little old lady is peering over your shoulder 24/7, ready to pop into your Instagram reels with advice about what sleep schedules or routines are best for your baby, and how you are making a major mistake with that toy your aunt bought them.

It can be even tougher when you feel like all the other moms are playing the game too, posting perfectly manicured selfies with their babies fast asleep in a pristine living room, ready to showcase their mom skills to anyone who tries to pass judgment.

The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media

But there’s another layer to it. Social media isn’t just passive anymore; it’s interactive. Every post comes with likes, comments, and comparisons. Even when we’re trying to share our own moments of joy or vulnerability, the flood of other people’s polished content can make us second-guess our own experiences.

A simple scroll through Instagram or TikTok can easily make you feel like you're falling short—whether it's the mom who makes homemade organic baby food or the one who already has her pre-pregnancy body back while juggling a perfect career. And let's not forget the unsolicited advice that comes rolling in from strangers who have no idea what your daily life looks like, but are all too ready to offer their "expert" opinions.

Choosing Intentionality in Social Media Use

So, how do we stay sane without giving up social media entirely? It starts with being intentional about our social media use. When you feel that pang of envy watching that mom-fluencer’s TikTok of “my nighttime routine that helps my baby sleep through the night,” consider the things in her life you may not be seeing: the ring camera she has to set up in advance and angle for the perfect shot, hours of editing reels when she could be cuddling her baby, maybe even the dread she feels checking the comments on her account from people who might be criticizing her motherhood choices?

Social media has a funny way of making us think everyone’s lives are better than they actually are, but we have the power to dismantle that by thinking critically about what we are being shown. The highlight reels are just that—highlights.

embracing your unique, Unfiltered Reality

It’s also worth reminding ourselves that there is no “one size fits all” for motherhood. What works for one family may not work for yours, and that’s perfectly okay. The comparison trap is hard to avoid, but stepping back and recognizing that everyone has their own unique struggles and victories behind the scenes can bring a sense of peace. Every mother is navigating her own path, with challenges that may never make it into her carefully curated feed.

And if you notice you're always feeling less than after viewing a certain account, remember you always have the power to unfollow, put down the phone, or switch over to us at My Tribe for realistic, supportive content and tips on being a mom in today's world.

At the end of the day, social media doesn’t define your worth as a mother— you do. The real, raw, unfiltered moments—those are the ones that matter most. It’s in the mess, the joy, the struggle, and the love that real motherhood is found. Embrace it, and remember that you’re doing an incredible job just as you are.